Oh, art! That maddeningly indefinable expression of human creativity! It is all around us and we experience it every day, yet no two people will perceive or describe it the same way. Ask someone to explain what art is and the cop out answer you often end up hearing is, “I know it when I see it.” Well, when it comes to burger art, I know it when I see it and I did not see it today in El Monte.
Art’s The Art of Burgers is a small burger stand with one walk-up window between two drive-through lanes. There are a handful of parking spaces on either side of the building and a haphazard collection of miscellaneous leftover tables from random fast food purveyors if you didn’t get your order to go. The heterogeneous accumulation of tables – some long picnic tables, some short picnic tables, some round tables, some with umbrellas, and some without – could be described as eclectic, possibly even artistic. Unfortunately the same creative skill and imagination exhibited in the outdoor seating area was not applied to the menu.
The Art of Burgers has precisely five hamburgers on offer: the Junior Hamburger, Hamburger, Junior Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, and Double Cheeseburger. In reality, they sell two varieties of burgers at five prices levels – not particularly inventive. You don’t have to sell dozens of varieties to be artistic, in fact having too many choices can appear gimmicky, but advertising “The Art of Burgers” on your sign raises expectations. At least offer something more creative than what is available directly across the street at McDonald’s.
I ordered the Double Cheeseburger ($3.05 a la carte, $5.85 with fries and a drink) and was offered the only artistic flourish, “do you want onions on that?” Opting for full personal customization, I answered, “yes.” I wasn’t sitting at the long red picnic table without an umbrella but beneath a gazebo for very long when my number was called. The burger, half wrapped in white paper and inside of an envelope, was presented amongst a whole lot of French fries in a cardboard carton.
The two griddled beef patties were each smothered with melted American cheese and separated by onion slices, all of which sat atop whole lettuce leaves and a tomato slice that had been dipped in Thousand Island dressing. Simple and straightforward, the burger fulfilled its purpose in providing sustenance but tasted remarkably like a Big Mac from across the street – as in spot-on. Perhaps the art at Art’s is in mimicry. Art’s looks like an In-N-Out but tastes like McDonald’s, but I would still eat at Art’s over either of the other two when I’m in the neighborhood.
In the end, it’s possible that Art simply owns the place and uses the “of Burgers” part to differentiate himself from the Art who runs the scrap metal yard down the block.
RATING: 2
Art’s The Art of Burgers
11629 Valley Boulevard
El Monte, California 91732
(626) 442-7554
Hours: Monday – Saturday 7:00AM – 12:00AM
Sunday 8:00AM – 12:00AM
